If Only

"If only", how many times have you used that phrase? Just yesterday I was thinking, if only it wasn't so wet I could cut the grass.  If only I was taller, I could reach whatever without a stool.  If only I had blue eyes, I love blue eyes.  If only I could win the lottery, what I couldn't do for my children.  If only I had planted more bulbs in the fall, my daffodil garden would be so much fuller.  I could go on and on and I bet you could make quite a list too. 
Denise had quite a few if only's too.  The big one was if only I didn't have this tumor.  If only I didn't have to take so many pills every day.  If only I didn't forget so much.  If only I could read my writing. If only what I want to say would come out of my mouth right.  If only I didn't lose my balance.  If only I didn't feel so sad.  If only I could get better. 

 Some if only's we have the ability to change like planting more bulbs, but some we can't like getting taller.  I can't tell you how many times I have said, "If only my Denise had not died." but she did and no matter how I wish otherwise it cannot be changed.  But her passing has created new if only's.  Now I say "If only I could help other people like Denise.  If only a cure could be found.  If only people would become aware of how brain cancer is increasing.  If only I could help raise funds so doctors can find a cure."  Maybe someday I can make my daughter's if only's come true,  if only you would all help.


Thank You for being one of Denise's People.