Vacations

Summertime and the living is easy, so they say.  People are either leaving or coming back from vacation, I just came back.  Every year we go to my daughters house on the beach.  Relaxing time, doing the things folks do at the beach.  Walking along the sand finding shells, the best treasure an unbroken conch shell. Watching for dolphins and following them down the shore. The waves splashing against your legs as you walk, jumping back when an unexpected large one soaks more than your legs.  Swimming in the pool when you would rather avoid the salt water or it is too windy on the beach.  Slathering on the sun tan lotion so you don't burn, heaven forbid you can't go home without a tan.  Cruising the shops in town looking for the perfect souvenir or gift for someone at home.  These are the things we do every summer, but this year it wasn't the same.  You see, Denise has been going with us for quite a few years and I felt her absence constantly.  I would look up from in the pool and visualize her sunbathing in her lounge chair, something she loved to do.  She always got a perfect tan without even trying.  She didn't go in the pool much but would watch everyone, crack jokes and make everyone laugh.  How somber the pool was this year. 
She would always walk the beach with me and we would have some of our best conversations, although last year she didn't because she didn't have the strength to walk any distance for very long.  The conversations and memories of our walks were with me on the beach this year and my desire to find shells vanished.
Everything I did and everywhere I went brought memories of her to mind, even what she would order for dinner.  But the hardest part of this vacation was in the evening sitting on the deck watching the ocean.  Remembering sitting there with Denise last year and how quiet and sad she became.  I asked her what was wrong  and with her limited vocabulary she told me how scared she was and that she didn't want to die. She knew what was coming! But it wasn't until we got home that the doctor told her the tumor was growing again and we were out of options.  Less than 3 months later she was gone.  Oh Lord, I miss her!
I cut my vacation short this year and returned home a couple days early.  I know I should count my blessing and be glad I had so many vacations with her but for now I just feel her absence.  Maybe next year will be better.

Thank You for being one of Denise's People