Pain

Next Monday morning I go into the hospital to have a total knee replacement.  I am very apprehensive and miss not having Denise here to discuss this with.  After listening she would probably have made some kind of  joke about it and we would both have ended up laughing.  Once when visiting her father in the hospital after a heart attack she observed the oxygen gadget on his finger and lifting and pointing his finger upward,  she smiled and said, "ET phone home."  This immediately made her father laugh and a scary and serious situation was lightened for the moment.  No one could have an illness or injury that Denise couldn't make a joke about while still being compassionate.  This was one of her many wonderful ways.

I think of the pain I am going to have to endure after my surgery.   Denise endured so much pain for all those years with  needles constantly being stuck in her until her veins were collapsing and she  had to have surgery to place a port in her chest.  The vaccination shots she had every week that left sore lumps in her arms when she was participating in the clinical trial study.  Being fitted for a mask to hold her head steady while she went thru radiation.  Having her brain probed to biopsy the tumor.  How dare I complain of pain, she never did.   My pain will gradually subside and I will be fine, but Denise endured everything that came her way and she still lost the battle.

Too many children and adults are going thru exactly what Denise did and should be able to recover.  We  need to find out what is causing this horrible cancer and put an end to it, please help our cause.

Thank you for being one of Denise's People.

Spring

Another day, another week, another month, time marches on even though I wish I could turn back time and still have my daughter Denise here.  Soon it will be spring, the time of the year that we both looked forward to.  The first warm sunny day and I would be out in the yard raking up the winter debris and checking to see what may have started to sprout thru the newly thawed ground.  After completion of my task and sitting down with a cup of coffee I would grab the phone and call Denise.  "Guess what I was doing all day?" I would ask, and after telling her she would say, "Get out!, that's what I was doing."  This was a common occurrence as we always seemed to be saying or doing the same thing at the same time.  It got to the point when we informed each other of what we had been doing the response became "Of course you did."  They say great minds think alike, but I think you could skip the great part and just say we seemed to be on the same wave length.
                                                                                                                                                                                                   
 My love of gardening was also one of her favorite things.  A couple of months before her passing she was sitting in the yard and decided she wanted to weed her flower garden.  The tumor at this point was affecting her balance and ability to walk without assistance, so with the help of her sister she scooted on her bottom along the lawn and happily did her weeding.  As I work in my garden this year she will be on my mind and even though she is not with me physically hopefully she will be there spiritually smiling with approval.

Spring is a time of awakening and growth.  It is the time of year when the flowers start pushing thru the ground, the grass turns green, the trees become lush with blossoms and the Robin returns to build its nest.  It is a time of life.   Please help to pass on the awareness of Brain Cancer so that the cause and cure for Brain Cancer can be found and people like my Denise will be alive to enjoy this wonderful time of the year.

Thank You for being one of Denise's People.

Memories

Now I lay me down to sleep, but sleep won't come.  My daughter Denise will be gone 5 months this week and after saying my prayers I have a little conversation with her and say good night, then my brain goes on rewind or fast forward.   I start remembering how jubilant we felt after her radiation treatments were done and the MRI came back showing the tumor had shrunk 20%.  For three years all the MRI's came back no change.  Why couldn't it have stayed that way?  After that the tell tale signs, memory loss, inability to write or understand what she had written, loss of balance were some of the ways we knew the next MRI was not going to be good and she rapidly began to lose the battle.

Then I go on fast forward thinking up events and campaigns to bring about awareness and finding a cure and believe me my mind is going full speed ahead.  Our first event is Memorial Day weekend, what a perfect time to remember loved ones.

We are joining the National Grey Ribbon Crusade Walk by co-ordinating a walk in Pennsylvania.   To sign up go to http://walktoendbraintumors.org/   If you do not live in Pennsylvania check the link for a walk in your area.

Our race is scheduled for May 29th in North Park. We will start our 5k at Harmar Pavilion at 9:oo a.m (come early to register.  The price is $25 per person which will include a tee shirt.  A fun time will be had by all.  Come out and support a loved one, a friend or neighbor.

Thanks for being one of Denise's People.

Taking a walk

What a week!  I am so excited.  ever since Denise passed I have been determined to make a difference to help bring about awareness and hopefully find a cure for Brain Tumors.  This week I was informed of an opportunity to do just that.  I learned May is Brain Tumor awareness month.  I also found out about the Grey Ribbon Crusade which holds a nationwide walkathon in May, recruiting interested volunteers to organize these walks in their state.  Hurrah! a chance to help and help I will.   Denise didn't call attention to her condition but  she walked and helped to organize fund raisers for other types of cancer.  How proud she would have been to be part of something like this. 
The place and time has already been established and I am working out the final details with the help of some wonderful people.  May is such a beautiful time of year for a walk. Stayed tuned for all the exciting details.

Thank You for being one of Denise's People and please don't be afraid to comment about what you have read or something you have experienced.

Positive thinking

Needless to say when Denise was diagnosed with the Brain Tumor we were all very scared and worried, which are natural reactions after hearing the words brain tumor and cancer.   The first Neurology doctor who saw her, told her he would treat the seizures (which were the electical empulses she felt going down her left side), and would watch the tumor to see if it changed.  This didn't sound right to Denise and she decided to get a second opinion.  Thru a friend she was informed of Hillman Cancer Center and Dr. Lieberman.  After meeting with Dr. Leiberman she was told that doing nothing was not the right option and radiation to treat and hopefully shrink the tumor was suggested.  After several weeks of radiation the tumor had shrunk about 20%.   Life was good, she was on her way to getting better or so I thought.  I never for once during that time or for the next 4 years thought that I would lose her.  During those years when she would get down (which she did quite often but tried to conceal it),  I would always tell her to think positive because I was positive she would get better.  So much for positive thinking when it must of been wishful thinking.
Until she was diagnosed, I didn't know anything about brain cancer or even remember hearing anything about it.  Now I am constantly hearing of someone who has it or someone who just died from it.  The increase in cases is definitely apparent and people have to be aware.  We must find out what is causing it and find a cure to stop so many people from dying from it.  We need to make wishful thinking into positive thinking.
We are working on some fund raising events and I will share them with you as they develop.
Thank You for being one of Denise's People.

Did you Know?

Did you know that from 1980 to 2000, there was an increase of nearly 50% in the estimated number of new cases of Malignant Brain/Center Nervous System tumors in the United States.?   Every day an estimated 575 people are diagnosed with a brain tumor.  You may have one of those people in your family, a close friend, neighbor or someone you work with.
There are no known causes of brain tumors at this time, although studies are going on.  Funding and awareness of this cancer is significantly lower than for any other type of cancer.   The goal of Denise's People to help raise awareness and raise funds to hopefully find the cause and the cure.  Let's give a purpose to the death of our loved ones so we can prevent so many more.

In the coming weeks and months I will post different fund raising events and campaigns we are planning.  Maybe you will want to join in or donate or maybe you may want to offer some suggestions.   Even if you just follow along and tell someone about what you read you will be spreading awareness. 

Thank You for being one of Denise's People. 

Who and What are Denise's People.

To know what Denise's People is about, you first must meet Denise.

Denise was my daughter, a mother to her two son's, a sister, a loyal friend to many and a conscientious and dedicated employee at the bank where she worked.  She had a smile that would light up a room and quite often was the life of the party.  But many people including close friends were unaware that beneath that smile was a very scared young woman. In December of 2005 Denise awoke with numbness on her right side followed by an electrical pulse down the same side.  After examination at the hospital she was told she had a brain tumor.  She couldn't understand how this could happen to a 40 year old healthy woman.  This was the beginning of a long and courageous 5 year battle including radiation, chemotherapy and a participant in a clinical study.  Denise told me when she started the clinical study, "I am going to be a pioneer and help find the cure for Brain Cancer", but it didn't work for her.  Even though she was scared and sad on the inside she always had a smile for all the employees at Hillman Cancer Center.  When she came thru the door they would say, "Denise is here", and she would spread her arms and reply, "Yes, me and all my people", which was usually her sister and me.  Thus the title Denise's People.  Denise passed away October 13, 2010, approximately 6 weeks before her 46th birthday on Christmas day.

Denise' People is a campaign to raise awareness of brain cancer and funds for research to hopefully find a cure.  Let's help my Denise get her wish and find a cure.  Won't you be one of Denise's People?