A Baby No More

One, two, three, four, five, one by one the years go flying by.  They say time flies when your having fun.  I must of been having fun.  To be honest with you, I was having fun.  The years when all my children were small and still at home were the happiest time of my life.  One by one they were all growing up and heading off to school, it was now Denise's turn.  She was no longer a baby.  As a matter of fact she was no longer the baby of the family either as a couple of months before her 5th birthday a new baby brother entered the world. 

Denise loved to talk, so much so her Pap Pap nicknamed her Gabby.  No longer does she stutter but has developed a speech impediment where she substitutes a W for an R.   A conversation with her would go something like this, "I am going up to my woom to wead a book."  or  "A squiwwel cwossed the stweet and almost got hit by a caw."  To this day we still call a squirrel a squiwwel and when she was still here she would laugh along with us. 

 Off she goes to school and the speech problem will become a thing of the past due to a couple years of speech class. Denise was an excellent student and was very well behaved in school.  She always displayed enthusiasm and interest in all of her subjects and had a smile for everyone around her.   I don't remember ever getting any kind of negative report about her.  In fact, all reports were always positive and complimentary and her grades were always A's. Her love of school followed her home and she spent many hours playing school and imitating her favorite teacher.

I think mother's cry on the first day a child starts school because they know it's the first step toward their chick leaving the nest.

Denise made friends easy but spent most of her time with a few neighbor girls and her sister and brothers.  She was a typical little girl playing with dolls, watching cartoons, playing with the dog and doing other things little girls do.  She was a healthy child with a pleasant deposition and could entertain herself if need be.  Don't get me wrong she also knew how to get into a squabble with her siblings or her friends, but none of it was ever anything serious. 

Her enthusiastic personality and her infectious smile made such a impression that a teacher and an old school mate which hadn't seen her in years saw her obituary and took the time to pay their condolences. (to be continued)

Vacations

Summertime and the living is easy, so they say.  People are either leaving or coming back from vacation, I just came back.  Every year we go to my daughters house on the beach.  Relaxing time, doing the things folks do at the beach.  Walking along the sand finding shells, the best treasure an unbroken conch shell. Watching for dolphins and following them down the shore. The waves splashing against your legs as you walk, jumping back when an unexpected large one soaks more than your legs.  Swimming in the pool when you would rather avoid the salt water or it is too windy on the beach.  Slathering on the sun tan lotion so you don't burn, heaven forbid you can't go home without a tan.  Cruising the shops in town looking for the perfect souvenir or gift for someone at home.  These are the things we do every summer, but this year it wasn't the same.  You see, Denise has been going with us for quite a few years and I felt her absence constantly.  I would look up from in the pool and visualize her sunbathing in her lounge chair, something she loved to do.  She always got a perfect tan without even trying.  She didn't go in the pool much but would watch everyone, crack jokes and make everyone laugh.  How somber the pool was this year. 
She would always walk the beach with me and we would have some of our best conversations, although last year she didn't because she didn't have the strength to walk any distance for very long.  The conversations and memories of our walks were with me on the beach this year and my desire to find shells vanished.
Everything I did and everywhere I went brought memories of her to mind, even what she would order for dinner.  But the hardest part of this vacation was in the evening sitting on the deck watching the ocean.  Remembering sitting there with Denise last year and how quiet and sad she became.  I asked her what was wrong  and with her limited vocabulary she told me how scared she was and that she didn't want to die. She knew what was coming! But it wasn't until we got home that the doctor told her the tumor was growing again and we were out of options.  Less than 3 months later she was gone.  Oh Lord, I miss her!
I cut my vacation short this year and returned home a couple days early.  I know I should count my blessing and be glad I had so many vacations with her but for now I just feel her absence.  Maybe next year will be better.

Thank You for being one of Denise's People

Camping

As a mother you can't wait for your child to be born, or at least that was the way I felt.  Before the birth of my first child, I would sleep with a pair of plastic pants under my pillow so I could smell the scent of the baby powder.  For all you youngsters, plastic pants was what you put over top of cloth diapers to keep bedding, clothes and etc dry.  they have gone the way of the dinosaur, now extinct.  It seems like forever until your baby arrives and then in no time they are no longer infants.  Everyday getting a little more independent and developing their very own personality. 

Denise was a happy child and enjoyed playing with  her sister and brother.  As a family we would go on camping trips in the summer to Lake Erie.  We would go fishing, swimming and boating.  We would cook over an open fire and sleep in a tent.  We would bathe in the lake and go to the bathroom in an outhouse.  I always had a fear of one of the children falling in going to the bathroom, but thankfully that was never to be. 

 Denise loved being in the sun and she seemed to tan naturally.   She loved riding the waves in the motor boat, playing in the sand and looking for shells.  The whole camping experience was a treat for her and her love for it would follow her through the rest of her life.  (to be continued)

Because of brain tumors people can not always do the things they most enjoy.  Depending on where the tumor is, it can effect a persons ability to walk, talk, speak, eat, think and other senses.  The medication needed to control the tumor or seizures effect how things taste, exposure to sunlight and a persons energy level.  Quality of life can be effected slightly or greatly.  Awareness is the first step to finding a cure for brain cancer.  Please pass the word and hopefully more people will eventually be able to do what they enjoy the most.

Birth

It all began on December 25th, 1964, a baby girl was born.  What do you name a baby girl born on Christmas morning?  Mary, Christine, Noel were all options, but no she was named Denise Ann.  What a pretty little girl she was, only 7 pounds but with chubby checks and big brown eyes.  How special to be born on Christmas!  Here was a new life with a long promising future in front of her.  I couldn't wait to get her home to meet her sister and brother.  There was only 14 months between her and her brother.  Because her brother had been born premature, his development had been slowed and it was almost like having twins.
They both learned to crawl and walk at the same time.  Whenever Denise came to a crack in the sidewalk she would get down and crawl over it.  This was due to being knocked over by another child.  At this young age, Denise was very timid.  If she did something wrong you only had to look at her and she would start to cry.   Her brother stuttered and so she did too.  When they had a conversation everyone would stand and shake their heads as only they knew what they were saying.  Over the years they developed a very special bond and I think this is when it started.  (to be continued)

Now here I am 46 years later with another new beginning, the birth of  Denise's People Foundation.  A foundation to raise awareness and funds for brain cancer research.   It is now in it's infancy, but unlike my daughter I am hoping it doesn't need a long future.  I am hoping that it will not take long for doctors to find the cause and cure of Brain Cancer.

Thank You for being one of Denise" People

An Act of Love

There is a poem that goes:  In a little county cemetery, just a few short miles away, we laid a precious loved one, my daughter who passed away.  That is where my Denise lies, not so far away and I go to visit with her quite often.  I talk to her about everything and anything, but mostly I cry.  I tell her about my gardens and I cry, I tell her about how her boys, her brothers and sister and the rest of the family are doing and I cry.  I tell her about her dog Sandy and I cry. I tell her how much I miss her and wish she were here to talk to in person and I cry.  She was not just my daughter but also my best friend.  A day doesn't  go by when something happens and I want to call her to share just as we did when she was alive.  How long does it take before the tears shut off?  I have a feeling never! 

 I told her about the walk and how successful it was, but I bet she already knew.  From the day that I started to organize the event it was uncanny how suddenly people contacted me in one way or another to offer help or give advise.  I'm not talking about people I know but total strangers.  It was as if  an invisible force was helping me.  I was told organizing the walk would be a lot of work, but it never seemed that way.  An act of love never feels like work.  I did the event for the love of my daughter and to make what she went through mean something.  I also did it to help fulfill her dream to help find a cure.  I did it so other mother's won't sit in a cemetery and cry like me.  I will continue to organize events until somehow I pray her dream to end brain cancer will come true.

Thank you for being one of Denise's People.

The First Annual Walk

The first Annual Walk to End Brain Cancer is now a memory.  I woke up Sunday at 5:30 A.M., got dressed, checked to see if I hadn't forgotten anything and off we went to the park.  It was a beautiful sunny day, something we hadn't seen much of lately.  We had to be there early to get everything set up.  When we pulled in my son and granddaughter was already there.  As I walked over to the pavilion my granddaughter said, "Granny, why do you have on  two different shoes?"  Looking down I saw I did have two very different sneakers on.  Denise was quite a prankster and loved a good joke so I am sure she had something to do with this situation, maybe letting me know she was present.  If that was the case I have no problem with the shoes, maybe I will make it a fashion statement for future walks.  Everything was in order when people started to arrive and began to sign in or register.  Before I knew it it was 9:00, everyone had been welcomed, Dr. Okada had spoken to the crowd and the horn was blown to start the walk.  Dr. Leiberman arrived late, so when everyone returned he took the microphone and spoke a few words .  It was now time for the balloon release, each balloon representing a hope and a prayer for a cure for brain cancer.

Organizing this walk was quite a learning experience for me.  Some of the most important things it taught me is how generous, supportive and caring people are.  We had so much fruit and baked goods donated we had people making bags and taking it home.  Anything left we took to the homeless shelter.   When word of the walk got out I had people contacting me wanting to help in anyway they could.  I had people who either had or has a brain tumor contacting me and telling me how glad they were something was finally being done in our state to help raise awareness and funds.  My goal for the first year was $500 and we raised $5850.   I would say the walk was a great success, wouldn't you?  This was only achieved with the help of everyone who supported us in anyway.   To all of those people I have wonderful news.  I found out today the money we raised is enough to fund the supplies needed for one patient to participate in a new vaccine clinical study.   WE MAY HAVE JUST SAVED SOMEONES LIFE.   Maybe next year we can increase that number to two.

Dr. Leiberman and Dr. Okada both said in their remarks what a special person Denise was.  If it wasn't for her this walk probably would not have happened.   I would say that makes her very special indeed!

Thank you for being one of Denise's People. 

Merry Month of May

There is an old song that goes, "In the merry, merry month of May".  What makes May so merry?  Could it be the weather? No, not possible this year as it has rained just about every day.  Could it be because Mother's Day falls in May? No, not possible for me this year.  Mother's Day is a day to honor your mother, but I have two grandson's who couldn't do that this year.  Thinking of them and missing Denise broke my heart.  She always sent me two cards, one serious and one to make me laugh, but they were missing from my mailbox this year. Maybe it is the graduation, communion and confirmation parties that occur this month, but with Denise missing they were not so merry either.

But wait, the month isn't over yet and I know I will be merry on Sunday the 29th.  It is the first annual walk to end brain tumors being held in Denise's honor.  Organizing this event has given me the opportunity to meet some very wonderful people.  I have been contacted by people diagnosed with brain tumors and going through what Denise did.  I have spoken with people who have been diagnosed, had surgery and are now survivors.  Over 80 people have registered to walk so far, others have donated.  Many have offered advise, services, products or to assist in any way possible. All of these people are thrilled we are having this walk and bringing about awareness and raising funds to find a cure.  With so much support how could I not be merry. 

Denise wanted to help find a cure for Brain Cancer and I bet she will will leading the pack when the walk begins.

If you still would like to register go to http:walktoendbraincancer.org

Thank you for being one of Denise's People.