A Baby No More

One, two, three, four, five, one by one the years go flying by.  They say time flies when your having fun.  I must of been having fun.  To be honest with you, I was having fun.  The years when all my children were small and still at home were the happiest time of my life.  One by one they were all growing up and heading off to school, it was now Denise's turn.  She was no longer a baby.  As a matter of fact she was no longer the baby of the family either as a couple of months before her 5th birthday a new baby brother entered the world. 

Denise loved to talk, so much so her Pap Pap nicknamed her Gabby.  No longer does she stutter but has developed a speech impediment where she substitutes a W for an R.   A conversation with her would go something like this, "I am going up to my woom to wead a book."  or  "A squiwwel cwossed the stweet and almost got hit by a caw."  To this day we still call a squirrel a squiwwel and when she was still here she would laugh along with us. 

 Off she goes to school and the speech problem will become a thing of the past due to a couple years of speech class. Denise was an excellent student and was very well behaved in school.  She always displayed enthusiasm and interest in all of her subjects and had a smile for everyone around her.   I don't remember ever getting any kind of negative report about her.  In fact, all reports were always positive and complimentary and her grades were always A's. Her love of school followed her home and she spent many hours playing school and imitating her favorite teacher.

I think mother's cry on the first day a child starts school because they know it's the first step toward their chick leaving the nest.

Denise made friends easy but spent most of her time with a few neighbor girls and her sister and brothers.  She was a typical little girl playing with dolls, watching cartoons, playing with the dog and doing other things little girls do.  She was a healthy child with a pleasant deposition and could entertain herself if need be.  Don't get me wrong she also knew how to get into a squabble with her siblings or her friends, but none of it was ever anything serious. 

Her enthusiastic personality and her infectious smile made such a impression that a teacher and an old school mate which hadn't seen her in years saw her obituary and took the time to pay their condolences. (to be continued)

Vacations

Summertime and the living is easy, so they say.  People are either leaving or coming back from vacation, I just came back.  Every year we go to my daughters house on the beach.  Relaxing time, doing the things folks do at the beach.  Walking along the sand finding shells, the best treasure an unbroken conch shell. Watching for dolphins and following them down the shore. The waves splashing against your legs as you walk, jumping back when an unexpected large one soaks more than your legs.  Swimming in the pool when you would rather avoid the salt water or it is too windy on the beach.  Slathering on the sun tan lotion so you don't burn, heaven forbid you can't go home without a tan.  Cruising the shops in town looking for the perfect souvenir or gift for someone at home.  These are the things we do every summer, but this year it wasn't the same.  You see, Denise has been going with us for quite a few years and I felt her absence constantly.  I would look up from in the pool and visualize her sunbathing in her lounge chair, something she loved to do.  She always got a perfect tan without even trying.  She didn't go in the pool much but would watch everyone, crack jokes and make everyone laugh.  How somber the pool was this year. 
She would always walk the beach with me and we would have some of our best conversations, although last year she didn't because she didn't have the strength to walk any distance for very long.  The conversations and memories of our walks were with me on the beach this year and my desire to find shells vanished.
Everything I did and everywhere I went brought memories of her to mind, even what she would order for dinner.  But the hardest part of this vacation was in the evening sitting on the deck watching the ocean.  Remembering sitting there with Denise last year and how quiet and sad she became.  I asked her what was wrong  and with her limited vocabulary she told me how scared she was and that she didn't want to die. She knew what was coming! But it wasn't until we got home that the doctor told her the tumor was growing again and we were out of options.  Less than 3 months later she was gone.  Oh Lord, I miss her!
I cut my vacation short this year and returned home a couple days early.  I know I should count my blessing and be glad I had so many vacations with her but for now I just feel her absence.  Maybe next year will be better.

Thank You for being one of Denise's People