Pain

Next Monday morning I go into the hospital to have a total knee replacement.  I am very apprehensive and miss not having Denise here to discuss this with.  After listening she would probably have made some kind of  joke about it and we would both have ended up laughing.  Once when visiting her father in the hospital after a heart attack she observed the oxygen gadget on his finger and lifting and pointing his finger upward,  she smiled and said, "ET phone home."  This immediately made her father laugh and a scary and serious situation was lightened for the moment.  No one could have an illness or injury that Denise couldn't make a joke about while still being compassionate.  This was one of her many wonderful ways.

I think of the pain I am going to have to endure after my surgery.   Denise endured so much pain for all those years with  needles constantly being stuck in her until her veins were collapsing and she  had to have surgery to place a port in her chest.  The vaccination shots she had every week that left sore lumps in her arms when she was participating in the clinical trial study.  Being fitted for a mask to hold her head steady while she went thru radiation.  Having her brain probed to biopsy the tumor.  How dare I complain of pain, she never did.   My pain will gradually subside and I will be fine, but Denise endured everything that came her way and she still lost the battle.

Too many children and adults are going thru exactly what Denise did and should be able to recover.  We  need to find out what is causing this horrible cancer and put an end to it, please help our cause.

Thank you for being one of Denise's People.

Spring

Another day, another week, another month, time marches on even though I wish I could turn back time and still have my daughter Denise here.  Soon it will be spring, the time of the year that we both looked forward to.  The first warm sunny day and I would be out in the yard raking up the winter debris and checking to see what may have started to sprout thru the newly thawed ground.  After completion of my task and sitting down with a cup of coffee I would grab the phone and call Denise.  "Guess what I was doing all day?" I would ask, and after telling her she would say, "Get out!, that's what I was doing."  This was a common occurrence as we always seemed to be saying or doing the same thing at the same time.  It got to the point when we informed each other of what we had been doing the response became "Of course you did."  They say great minds think alike, but I think you could skip the great part and just say we seemed to be on the same wave length.
                                                                                                                                                                                                   
 My love of gardening was also one of her favorite things.  A couple of months before her passing she was sitting in the yard and decided she wanted to weed her flower garden.  The tumor at this point was affecting her balance and ability to walk without assistance, so with the help of her sister she scooted on her bottom along the lawn and happily did her weeding.  As I work in my garden this year she will be on my mind and even though she is not with me physically hopefully she will be there spiritually smiling with approval.

Spring is a time of awakening and growth.  It is the time of year when the flowers start pushing thru the ground, the grass turns green, the trees become lush with blossoms and the Robin returns to build its nest.  It is a time of life.   Please help to pass on the awareness of Brain Cancer so that the cause and cure for Brain Cancer can be found and people like my Denise will be alive to enjoy this wonderful time of the year.

Thank You for being one of Denise's People.

Memories

Now I lay me down to sleep, but sleep won't come.  My daughter Denise will be gone 5 months this week and after saying my prayers I have a little conversation with her and say good night, then my brain goes on rewind or fast forward.   I start remembering how jubilant we felt after her radiation treatments were done and the MRI came back showing the tumor had shrunk 20%.  For three years all the MRI's came back no change.  Why couldn't it have stayed that way?  After that the tell tale signs, memory loss, inability to write or understand what she had written, loss of balance were some of the ways we knew the next MRI was not going to be good and she rapidly began to lose the battle.

Then I go on fast forward thinking up events and campaigns to bring about awareness and finding a cure and believe me my mind is going full speed ahead.  Our first event is Memorial Day weekend, what a perfect time to remember loved ones.

We are joining the National Grey Ribbon Crusade Walk by co-ordinating a walk in Pennsylvania.   To sign up go to http://walktoendbraintumors.org/   If you do not live in Pennsylvania check the link for a walk in your area.

Our race is scheduled for May 29th in North Park. We will start our 5k at Harmar Pavilion at 9:oo a.m (come early to register.  The price is $25 per person which will include a tee shirt.  A fun time will be had by all.  Come out and support a loved one, a friend or neighbor.

Thanks for being one of Denise's People.